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I'm sorry for all the emotional crap I've been going on about, including this. I just simply can't be online anymore. It all hurts too much and just reminds me of the emptiness of something I once had. Sorry to those who were interested in art trades, collabs, or commissions, or anything else, I am truly deeply sorry. If I am to move on, I just can't have any remote reminders of anything. The internet has always been my "safe place" but now it's just a haunting memory of what pains me so greatly. I spend all my time online but I just can't bear it anymore. I won't be active here, or anywhere. It's best if I avoid these places. It's best if I change my lifestyle so completely that I just don't remember anymore. So here's to rock-bottom, which always goes so much farther than you could have ever imagined. No more internet, no more computer, no more. I'll probably struggle with this but I'll try to make it absolute. It just lures me too much into the things that will haunt me forever. I didn't make this journal to cause drama; I just wanted to let everyone know why I'm not active here, and I truly am sorry to those I promised art but never got to. If I were in a better position in life, I would have completed that art. But I'm truly horrifically miserable, worse than ever, it always gets worse; not better. I can't live in the past, I can't have this haunting my dreams, I can't see the ghost of good days gone by over and over and over. I need to forget, and in order to forget, I have to, I have to just go. The internet is not comforting to me anymore. Neither is my computer. I need to leave it all behind. I have nothing much outside of it. The internet and my computer were my life. Pathetic, I know, but I'm just a loser like that. But I guess. I'll have to find a way. Cause everyone wants me to.
I'm sorry everybody. This isn't a pity-trip or for sympathy, I don't want sympathy. I just wanted to let you guys know. Thanks so much for all the favs and comments, they truly mean a lot to me and I never thought people would like my art so much or even notice me. Thank you.
I'm sorry for being a big mess 24/7. I'm sorry I could never recover.
- Anu
I'm sorry everybody. This isn't a pity-trip or for sympathy, I don't want sympathy. I just wanted to let you guys know. Thanks so much for all the favs and comments, they truly mean a lot to me and I never thought people would like my art so much or even notice me. Thank you.
I'm sorry for being a big mess 24/7. I'm sorry I could never recover.
- Anu
Potential Return to dA
Heya everyone,
Been a long time, eh? Well. It might just be a bit longer. My hiatus from dA occurred as the result of severe, long-lasting depression. Surprise surprise, I am still depressed, but doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I am currently in college (for hopefully, the last and final time), and am nearing the end of my studies in Graphic Design this December (December 2017). I still struggle daily, and college thus far has not been easy, but I am striving to succeed.
That being said, my passion for art is slowly coming back. Anxiety, depression, and stress greatly hinder this process, but I am determined to push through.
Job that does NOT require standing?
I'm at a loss here, I'm in desperate need of a job. Problem is, I have degenerative disc disease, ever since I can remember I have been in pain while standing or walking literally since I was a toddler; in recent years it has gotten much worse. I need some entry-level job that does not require standing, something I don't need a degree for, and something that does not involve being a social wizard (e.g. not anything to do with intense multitasking or phones/receptionist). I am terrible socially, I get flustered easily and sound extremely unprofessional so being a receptionist is out of the question, not just based of my fear of social situatio
How to improve?
I know the answer is obvious, but you never know what new options people may suggest!
I've been a slump ever since 2008 pretty much; I stopped improving, I've been meandering at this wiggly-snail pace, my style isn't fixed yet, my level of detailing bounces all over the place, and my understanding of anatomy is loose and generalized, and furthermore, stylized in a bad way that happens with years of improper-memorization come into play. Blergh, grammar, how do.
The main thing that's hindered me is the fact I don't doodle anymore. I used to doodle creatures and canines and all sorts of things while I was in highschool. Doodling is what truly
Shitty Canadian Internet
So I've been AWOL for the past week or so; this is because my internet was nearly used up, 98%, and I had to completely avoid any internet use in order to avoid any overcharges (that's $2 bucks for each GB over the limit, with a max of $100 bucks in overcharge). What fun, right? I had to wait for the month to reset.
I was away at college in the USA when this infuriating limit was introcuded back in 2011; so natrually I had no idea my internet freedom was taken away until I officially returned home in Canada. My family had no idea this even happened until I looked it up recently and explained all the confusion of suddenly "using up 100% of ou
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Comments31
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I have always loved your art but never actually visit your gallery (I saw them on werewolf group or other sites). don't know if you will read this in the future but I hope you feel better soon. Unfortunately there is no "safe heaven". Whenever your life is, Irl or online, tragedy can happen. I should know this. All wounds heal eventually, be sure of that!