I'm sorry for all the emotional crap I've been going on about, including this. I just simply can't be online anymore. It all hurts too much and just reminds me of the emptiness of something I once had. Sorry to those who were interested in art trades, collabs, or commissions, or anything else, I am truly deeply sorry. If I am to move on, I just can't have any remote reminders of anything. The internet has always been my "safe place" but now it's just a haunting memory of what pains me so greatly. I spend all my time online but I just can't bear it anymore. I won't be active here, or anywhere. It's best if I avoid these places. It's best if I change my lifestyle so completely that I just don't remember anymore. So here's to rock-bottom, which always goes so much farther than you could have ever imagined. No more internet, no more computer, no more. I'll probably struggle with this but I'll try to make it absolute. It just lures me too much into the things that will haunt me forever. I didn't make this journal to cause drama; I just wanted to let everyone know why I'm not active here, and I truly am sorry to those I promised art but never got to. If I were in a better position in life, I would have completed that art. But I'm truly horrifically miserable, worse than ever, it always gets worse; not better. I can't live in the past, I can't have this haunting my dreams, I can't see the ghost of good days gone by over and over and over. I need to forget, and in order to forget, I have to, I have to just go. The internet is not comforting to me anymore. Neither is my computer. I need to leave it all behind. I have nothing much outside of it. The internet and my computer were my life. Pathetic, I know, but I'm just a loser like that. But I guess. I'll have to find a way. Cause everyone wants me to.
I'm sorry everybody. This isn't a pity-trip or for sympathy, I don't want sympathy. I just wanted to let you guys know. Thanks so much for all the favs and comments, they truly mean a lot to me and I never thought people would like my art so much or even notice me. Thank you.
I'm sorry for being a big mess 24/7. I'm sorry I could never recover.